40 days of Faith

Published by: Ar. Kenneth Marcos

Sept 21, 2020

Singapore 12:39 AM

Looking back, this first job of mine was really not the ideal job for a young lady architect. I am exposed to overseeing the site workers, buying and carrying buckets of paint and six-meter aluminum metal from hardware to warehouse or hardware to two different landed house sites, after eight hours of work from the site, I go back to the office to start the other half of my life as an accounting assistant/ quantity surveyor and project manager managing workers schedule for tomorrow and what materials needed to buy. This wasn't my first time doing these things since I also do these back in the Philippines for side projects. But doing these under constant pressure, having my employers ask for updates every minute, both on the construction side and accounting side, going late to home around 9pm-12 am most of the time without overtime pay until Saturday. I couldn't really imagine myself doing all the job for 5 people.

Everyday was a struggle for me. Being scolded for no reason and being blamed for things I haven't even done. I was the physical representation of a scapegoat in this company. Every morning felt like I've been dragged to prison, only to be yelled at. I don't know why I was suffering nor why I am sent in this situation. I wasn't even praying for a new job despite all the challenges. I just kept on praying for God to give me strength to overcome everyday. Just to be alive one step at a day. I was so desperate keeping this job, that even if they throw lies at me saying I lack a lot of logic or skills etc., I just keep my head low and do my best everyday since everything is in pandemic situation, i know it would be very hard and almost impossible to land on another job during these times.

I was only new here in Singapore, by faith I landed here last March 2020 few days before lockdown and I was hired last April 2020 through a miracle.

My first miracle was when I was about to go back to Philippines on March 18, 2020 because I couldn't find a job. But God was able to make a way for me to secure this first job here in Singapore. But when I was about to start working, Circuit Breaker happens, and everything didn't went well according to what I prayed for. I did secured a job, but I was financially struggling due to non working days imposed to construction sector. It was really a struggle for me, but God gave me just enough to survive my first few months here.

Basically I was just new here and still adjusting, plus the pandemic issues made it even harder for me. But God didn't leave me nor forsake me.

I thought everything will go well if I keep trying harder to overcome one day at a time. I didn't complain. I just kept on working. There were days I accidentally cut my flesh at site or hurt my feet causing it to bleed while I was walking home from work due to stress and mental unstableness from my daily experiences with the employers. Overall, my situation was so dark, even I can't pray properly anymore and just cry it out to God every night. Going to work makes me feel anxious, worrying "What if they blame me for another unforeseen mistake I didn't even make, how will I defend myself? Do I really need to defend myself? " I felt too tired to explain that owning all that they throw at me gives me more peace.

Aug 7, 2020

I was unjustly terminated at work as an Architectural Associate in a local Singaporean design & build the company.

It was so painful because I tried all my best to keep this job, but I just kept on holding unto God that He has greater plans for me. I was thinking and crying that time that God saw all my struggles and removed me out of that pit of darkness.

Aug 8 2020

I rendered my last day on site and oversee the workers until the end. That night I asked for prayers with all the people I can gather/know, from strangers, friends to family, because I myself is out of words. Whenever I pray, my words turn to tears and groaning for I was in utter deep pain. I never thought I will experience what David felt like in Psalm 35.

Psalm 35 :1-21

1 Contend, Lord, with those who contend with me;

fight against those who fight against me.

2 Take up shield and armor;

arise and come to my aid.

3 Brandish spear and javelin[a]

against those who pursue me.

Say to me,

“I am your salvation.”

4 May those who seek my life

be disgraced and put to shame;

may those who plot my ruin

be turned back in dismay.

5 May they be like chaff before the wind,

with the angel of the Lord driving them away;

6 may their path be dark and slippery,

with the angel of the Lord pursuing them.

7 Since they hid their net for me without cause

and without cause dug a pit for me,

8 may ruin overtake them by surprise—

may the net they hid entangle them,

may they fall into the pit, to their ruin.

9 Then my soul will rejoice in the Lord

and delight in his salvation.

10 My whole being will exclaim,

“Who is like you, Lord?

You rescue the poor from those too strong for them,

the poor and needy from those who rob them.”

11 Ruthless witnesses come forward;

they question me on things I know nothing about.

12 They repay me evil for good

and leave me like one bereaved.

13 Yet when they were ill, I put on sackcloth

and humbled myself with fasting.

When my prayers returned to me unanswered,

14 I went about mourning

as though for my friend or brother.

I bowed my head in grief

as though weeping for my mother.

15 But when I stumbled, they gathered in glee;

assailants gathered against me without my knowledge.

They slandered me without ceasing.

16 Like the ungodly they maliciously mocked;[b]

they gnashed their teeth at me.

17 How long, Lord, will you look on?

Rescue me from their ravages,

my precious life from these lions.

18 I will give you thanks in the great assembly;

among the throngs I will praise you.

19 Do not let those gloat over me

who are my enemies without cause;

do not let those who hate me without reason

maliciously wink the eye.

20 They do not speak peaceably,

but devise false accusations

against those who live quietly in the land.

Somehow, I felt at peace for God reminding me that he took me away from there because He loves me and that I have a purpose. By this time, I met Ms Leigh, Pastor Rhia and Ate Juni.

Aug 9 2020

I was introduced to Ate Juni's VG. We went to Punggol Park and biked all around until noon. We had a fellowship and fun being together and sharing each other's story. I felt so happy I forgot I was just terminated yesterday. I started looking forward that God has better plans for me.

Aug 10-20 2020

I got calls from 3 different companies. First company offered me a job, Second company Shortlisted me, I keep on praying for God to stabilize my heart, that if I am for here and I still have a purpose here in SG or I may need to go back to PH, let His will be done. It was a roller coaster ride but it was stretching my faith in all aspects. It made my faith and my trust in God is tested. These moments made me realize, there are other companies who can see my value despite having doubts about myself because of the words imprinted on me by my past employer. But God still reminded me, that He will open doors of opportunities despite the circumstances.

Aug 21 2020

I had my final interview with the 3rd company. The first company who offered me a job, backed out due to quota issue. It was also the same day, my repatriated brother was COVID 19 positive who was at the quarantine facility in Manila that time. It was just too much for me to handle mentally but God made a way for me to be still and test me to put all my trust in Him. He constantly reminds me that He is in control and that He has the power to give and take away.

Before the day ends, around that afternoon, they sent the offer.

Aug 22 2020

The 3rd company offered me a job and told me to prepare the documents for pass applications. I was reminded of the verse

Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. James 1:2-4

Aug 24 2020

At last, my pass application was submitted. After all these times, God made the impossible possible again.

Psalms 34: 3-4 Glorify the Lord with me; let us exalt his name together. I sought the Lord, and he answered me;

he delivered me from all my fears.

Aug 31 2020

The old employer agreed to apply for extension of stay.

Sept 4 2020

Pass got rejected. The New employer applied for appeal.

The next day is my scheduled flight because Sept 6 is the last day of my Visit Pass allowed stay. I was ready to go home and believed that if this is for me, God will make a way few hours before my flight. I will abide and continue to do His will. Packed my luggage and bought pasalubongs.

Sept 5 2020

9 hours before my supposed to be flight, extension of stay was approved until Sept 18.

Sept 11 2020

It was my brother's birthday and he is safe at home, COVID negative.

Sept 14 2020

I was about to meet Ate Angie (Lifegroup ate) to have a "supposed to be last tour" at the gardens by the bay. On my way there, the appeal was approved. Medical waived and I can finally start to work in Singapore again.

This is my story of surviving in Singapore from March-Present 2020 amid Covid-19 pandemic.

Psalm 40:1-3

1 I waited patiently for the Lord;

he turned to me and heard my cry.

2 He lifted me out of the slimy pit,

out of the mud and mire;

he set my feet on a rock

and gave me a firm place to stand.

3 He put a new song in my mouth,

a hymn of praise to our God.

Many will see and fear the Lord

and put their trust in him